Time you spend comparing yourself to others is better spent focusing on you

I really want to write a blog post. But I have like ten thousand, wayyyyy more important things I need to be doing. 

I know the feels. Meg texted back. I feel the exact same thing.

So what if we challenge each other to write for thirty minutes RIGHT NOW, and if we don’t finish our posts, that’s cool? 

I can’t. I mean, you can—but I have my morning planned already.

I frowned at my phone. Meg’s texts made me feel like I shouldn’t go write that blog post. I should close the open Word document I’d been staring at for twenty minutes, and return to my half-finished proposal instead.

I do this a lot. And I’m sure you can relate.

I’m sure you know the feeling of guilt accompanied by another’s person’s success or hard work. You could be feeling fine—great, even—and a single conversation with another individual makes you think you should work harder, type faster, lift heavier, or dedicate your mornings to doing ten thousand crunches.

You know what I’m talking about, right?

Another person’s gains can leave us feeling…really down on ourselves. Jealous, even.

Jealous that THEY signed that contract, earned that cool job, got ten bazillion likes on their Instagram posts, or have abs that must—MUST—be Photoshopped. And even though you were doing JUST FINE ON YOUR OWN mere seconds earlier, suddenly you’re left thinking:

I mean, HOW can she stay so focused!?

How did HE score that client? 

Why don’t I have ab lines like that?

How come I don’t make that salary?

I so, so, soooooo understand what it’s like to ask these questions. Want to know how I get over it? How I get over those feelings of jealousy, inferiority, or self guilt? I ask myself one, final question:

Who the FUCK cares?!

Let me explain something to you. It does not matter how rich, successful, ripped, or focused every other person on planet Earth is, relative to you.

It doesn’t. It doesn’t matter if the person sitting next to you makes one million dollars a year or twenty-five thousand. You will make the same salary. It doesn’t matter if your jacked-as-fuck friend suddenly gets fat. You will be the same size. And it does not matter if Meg writes a second book today, scores ten new clients, AND somehow manages to write a blog post. I will still have to write my proposal, finish my homework, and somehow publish something online.

So cheer them on.

I mean it. Those feelings of guilt/jealously/whatever-it-is are not benefiting you. They’re not making you a stronger person. They are actually hurting you, because the time you spend worrying about another person’s success is time you could spend concentrating on your own shit.

Instead, tell yourself, Fuck yea! Good for them! They’re killing it! And go back to doing whatever it is you’re supposed to be working on.

Those three sentences take a tenth of the time you would spend spiraling down the dark black hole that is your own mind, wondering how-what-if-why they got to where they are. I loathe the word “energy” because I’m not into anything voodoo, but fuck it—send positive vibes their way. Then focus on you and keep killing it.

Meg, I hope you crush all your calls today. I hope you score a bazillion clients. And in the thirty minutes I originally gave myself to write this post, it only took me twenty-five to bust this bad boy out.

Sending positive energy to all of you (ew).

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For All the F Words
You have flaws. You f-up on a daily basis. And that should be ok.